If you’ve ever worked hard to achieve anything, especially while facing adversity, you understand that adulthood and adulting has its perks, as well as its costs. For most of us, the average Jane or Joe, we go through different periods or phases in our lives that has either sped up so fast it leaves us in a tail spin, pulling at us in a fast pace to keep up or in some way creating a lull that is sometimes so deep, you actively seek a little pressure to insert in your life and dismantle the routine. This is just the way it works… each phase has its place.
I haven’t yet decided what period this is for our family and in particular, me, because well… it seems to be both. I’ve gotten a handle (somewhat) on the whole “mom-ing” 24/7 thing and working from home. Depending on how a particular day is going, I can just lift my head and it’s 4pm or wait for 12 hours and when I check the clock it says only 2 has passed. Such is the conundrum that plays out when one starts a new business and career from their living room, with an infant to be cared for who’s exclusively breastfed.
I’m always tired, looking for rest and sleep. That ‘sleep when the baby sleeps‘ narrative has never worked for me. So all systems are go anywhere between 5 and 7, and by the time the day ends I’ve very little in the tank to take me past a child’s bedtime hour. That’s just over here on my end. My husband’s view is completely different.
Three months before our daughter was born, he started post-graduate studies to become a specialist doctor in his field of passion. So in addition to several hours of studying he puts in prior to work which was the norm in our lives just because of his profession, he’s now also a full-time medical student as well as a full time working doctor and brand new father. With the rapid approach of the end of his first year of studies and major exams, his study sessions have increased tenfold, the addition of classes to his schedule. There simply isn’t enough time in a day, it would seem. It’s not unusual that he’s kept going by sheer willpower and coffee. In our house, our coffee maker is our friend. She’s part of the family…
Socially, our lives have lulled. No, that’s not true. Our social lives are currently so stagnant, they are virtually non-existent. Quite frankly, between now and the next few months, we just don’t have time for it. I am like a child praying for summer to arrive. Not that it will be a lot better, but I am hoping the edge won’t be as sharp. As close as we are, much of our time in the house together is in passing outside of a little family bonding time each/every other day.
This is nothing new. There is always a time and space in our lives when the work we put into advancing ourselves, our lives and careers light a fire under our rear and at least for a few weeks, suck our time and energy into a vacuum. This time, however, its been longer than I’ve ever experienced and longer still to go.
Still, it is a conscious choice to adult, and when the cost of ambition knocks, you better answer that door and be ready to throw yourself at the mercy at whatever is on the other side. We must be ready face the opportunity costs.